roflryan

im just gonna go back to bed because i can’t take this right now. 

and alright, fine. you’re the most amazing girl.. you kinda treat me like shit sometimes but i understand that you don’t mean to. you have the best intentions, things just never seem to work out. i have barely talked to you for over a week now, let alone seen you. i miss you so badly. it really hurts, hurts to the point where i think about doing terrible things every night. i wouldn’t, i’m not that dumb, but the thought of the pain being gone just sounds so good. if maybe i could just get hit by a bus or something, anything that is completely out of my control. it would be pretty convenient. i just really don’t know how to move on, or if i even want to. i gave you my all and failed over and over. no one really knows what i am feeling, im getting better at hiding it. i stick to crying alone at night now rather than asking people for help or advice because i know nothing they can say can really help me. 
today we talked. its the happiest ive been since you left. then we kept talking and now we’re not talking. i want to believe that we could hang out and just be friends and that being your friend is better than not having you in my life, but its hard. especially considering you dont even want that. you just want the summer to move on. why do i do this to myself? i try and act tough and say no, she fucked me over why would i get back together with her? but the truth is i think i would. after countless times being left alone by myself. edrtfygvuhbnijokl

all i want out of this summer is you.

all you want out of this summer is to move on.

it’s gonna be a long, painful, summer. 

do you really wonder why i keep bringing up hanging out this summer? you’re leaving. you’re gonna live hundreds of miles away. i don’t know when i’ll see you again. i just want to see you.